He heard you already

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" Matt 7:11

I've read this. I've contemplated it. God's given me some understanding of it and then I got a little guy to help me really get it. 

There have been a few times when I've asked God for something and then asked Him again and then again and then He told me to quit asking cause He's already on it and I need to trust Him. So when you're three, your favorite thing to do is ask questions. Lately, my little guy will ask for something, which I will tell him I'm getting, and then he will ask me over and over and over and over from the time it takes me to get that item and bring it to him until it is right before his eyes. I find myself now responding to his continual questions by asking him, "Did you ask me that already?" "yes" "Did I say I would do that?" "yes" "Do you think I am going to do that?" "yes" "Ok, then you probably don't have to ask me anymore, because you're right I will do that for you, it just takes me a minute." On a screen that could be read in a condescending way which is not how it goes, just a conversation, but as I hear myself remind him over and over that I am going to do what he asked and he really doesn't need to keep asking, I thought about me and God. I do what my little guy does all the time to God. "Hey God! Are you going to do it? You going to do it? You going to do it? You going to do it?" And already He told me yes. I can relax and rest in Him cause He's trustworthy. He WILL do what He said. Hm. I can enjoy where He has me and know there is so much more He's said is to come to pass in my life. In the same way when sweet boy has asked me for a glass of juice, he can relax and enjoy his food while I get it, instead of checking in on the status of his juice ever two seconds. 

God is as trustworthy as they come. If He said it, He will do it. 

One day I woke up a mom...

So a few months ago I gained a precious three year old boy. That's a story for a different post, you are welcome to ask if you want to know more about that, but what I'm really writing about is this one time Jesus reminded me that He loves me with a little lump of poo.

Earlier today I went to get him out of my roommates room to have him have some potty time. We're  potty training so we're in the "sit on the potty all day long" stage where we spend time sitting on the super awesome, colorful, music playing potty to practice putting our pee pee in there. Clearly when I say we what I really mean, is him. He practices. I'm already quite adept at using the potty. I put my pee in there and I put my poo poo in there and sometimes when I come out he asks me which one. Anyway, the timer went off and I went to get him. He happened to be playing cars with my roommate and didn't like the idea of interrupting his play time, so decided that chucking a match box car across the room as hard as he could was a better idea. I happened to disagree which landed him in time out. Now I felt that throwing a car was an unreasonable response and it happened to make me quite frustrated. So we talked, he said he was sorry and we moved to the potty. As he sat on the potty I was having a conversation in my mind about how I have to be quick to let things go, but how really I'm still frustrated. Not so much that he threw the car, it happens, but that he's learning appropriate responses to things and these types of responses still happen more often then I like. So as I wait thinking about how I need to not be frustrated, he poos. First time in the potty. Unless you've potty trained a kid, you probably don't realize how very very exciting a little poo in the potty is. God is gracious to me. As I tried to not be frustrated it all faded when God had my little guy drop a gift in the potty.

You can look forward to more adventures into motherhood with a three year old...Tis the season.

Walking as a Woman

I wrote a while back that I'd take you on a journey with me to discover what it is to be a woman of God. I didn't exactly take you on my journey. This is partly because the time to write just hasn't been there, but partly because the way God does things are different then I tend to expect.

I'd sensed from the Lord that this time around I wasn't supposed to avoid figuring out what is really menas to be a woman. I assumed that meant He'd involve me a lot in the process of revealing it to me. So I obediently have been asking God to give me revelation, been looking in the Scriptures, been seeking out Godly women, and God's been showing me things. All of a sudden I'd be reading my Bible and God would show me things about women. I read about Samson and Delilah and was struck by the influence a woman can have and realized that while Delilah used it in a corrupt way, if that same influence was used to build up a man and spur him on toward what God has for him, it'd be super powerful. I read 2 John and realized it was written to an elect woman of the church. All sorts of stuff is being revealed to me, but I'd been trekking along on the journey, trusting God is transforming me, and then I have a conversation and become aware that I thoroughly consider myself a woman.

I sat with my friend talking about how we tend to consider certain milestones entrance into adulthood and she was considering this in her own life. As we talked I started to realized that I was viewing our conversation through the lenses of someone who considers herself no longer a girl but a woman. I smiled to myself at the realization because God is so good, I hadn't even realized He'd done it.

It wasn't a certain verse I read. It wasn't revelation about what it means to be a woman and realizing I fit into it. My view of myself as a woman was solidified when I recognized what God is calling me to. I have an assignment that can't be completed by a girl. I have a responsibility that only a woman can carry. The things God is calling me to forces me to walk as a women, and the cool thing about it, is that if the assignment is given by God that means that He's saying, little girl, the time has come, walk as the woman I say you are. When I agreed to walk in the assignment, without realizing it, I was also setting aside the girl in me and fully embracing the woman God has risen up in me. I wish I had better words to explain the gravity of this and how awesome it is.

I watched the movie 300 not that long ago. Not normally a movie I'd watch, but my friend was telling me the spiritual implications they saw in it and I wanted to see for myself. Connecting the concept of Spartans to the army of God is a little bit nuts and really pretty eye opening. The elements of unity and focus are impactful. Something I've considered a lot after watching though, was the woman that the queen was. Her strength. Her priorities. Her prominence. Her job could not be done by a girl, she has to walk as a woman, there's no room or time to be a girl. Too much was at stake and her role was too important. That's kind of how I feel. It's a privilege really. We've been given assignments by the Lord. He's entrusted us and He declares we are able and makes us sufficient for the task.

The life God has called me to, and the season He has me in, is one where there is no room for playing around (I am not saying it's not fun or exciting. God has set me free and it's fantastic, not to mention God's way is exciting, exhilarating, and full of joy). Here there is no room for trying out my own stuff. There is no room for compromise. If I want to see the fullness of God, if I want to fulfill the assignment, if I want to live the abundant life, it's all about doing exactly what God says and literally letting Him direct every step. God is so incredibly faithful!

It's time to be a woman

For some time now I've had an aversion to doily coated women's meetings. I've never wanted to sit with a group of women sipping tea, painting my nails, and talking about shopping and homemaking. The roots of my aversion are varied, everything from feeling it to be surface level, to not feeling like I have common interests in these settings, to the unspoken feminist messages Portland fed me growing up. After twenty six and a half years of being content avoiding these events and discussions, being satisfied simply knowing I am His and my main role in life to to bring glory and honor to God, He has invited me on a journey that involves learning my role specifically as a woman of God.

In the past when I'd come up against an idea about a female's role, I would become frustrated hearing everyone's differing opinions on the topic, and in the end I would settle on, I don't care, I just know I'm His and I will do what He tells me. However, this time I'm confronted with the concept that men and women are not only different, but have different roles and the Lord is asking me to let Him tell me what that means and how He designed it. So I'm holding onto Him with white knuckles, bracing myself to have a paradigm shift. Already He's confronted some deep rooted issues I didn't even realize I had in me.

As I'm beginning this journey I began to pay attention to the ladies around me and I began to do some reading. What I've found so far is that most woman think they know what it means to be a woman (like I have thought myself) when in reality, few of us can articulate it or back it up with depth of scripture. Society, including Christian culture, has just told us things that we've unknowingly sucked in and accepted.

So I thought I would take you on this journey with me as I'm certain is will be at least a little life changing for me and I'm confident the Lord will reveal things. To start off let's just throw out some things I'm quite certain about and looking forward to gaining more revelation on.
 1. There is something about a woman's strength that is different than a man's and has a different purpose.
 2. God desires a gentleness and meekness in a woman that brings a certain kind of power and transformation.
 3. Something about what God's innately put in woman that allows them to mother.
 4. some other stuff that isn't coming to mind at the moment.

Second, God's already confronted some things in me that I didn't realize were there. So let's take a little look at some of the messages I was fed from a feminist society in the city I grew up in.
 1. Women can and should do anything a man can do.
 2. To desire only to be married and have a family is weak and demeans women, as women are capable of anything men are capable of.
 3. Women should be able to think like a man, and should not be overly emotional.
 4. Women and men do not have different roles based on their gender, they lead lives differently only because they are unique individuals.
 5. Women are strong.
 6. I'm sure there are way more but those are some that come to mind right off hand.

Now understand that I grew up in a godly home with parents that have a good marriage. My mom stayed at home with my brother and I and I have always regarded her as someone who is incredibly intelligent and capable. I never questioned the decision for her to be home raising my brother and I. I also see her as an incredibly influential woman. She has impacted, to a very great degree, a huge number of lives from relatives, to neighbors, to church goers, to friends, to people she pretty much just picked up off the street.

However, despite these things I have come to realize that there are lies deeply rooted in me that I haven't even realized were there. For example, the lie that woman are just as strong as men in the same way men are strong. Being told I couldn't do something because I was too weak was incredibly offensive to me. So I heard a godly women comment about her being the weaker one in her marriage and found myself completely taken back. She wasn't saying this in a way to devalue herself in any way. (Now realize I believe woman have strength, but it's different than a man's strength). So I began to question my strong reaction to the comment. Why am I offended when a man or woman suggests I shouldn't carry a heavy box because I'm a woman? I started to look at the facts. I'm five feet tall. My thigh is about the thickness of some men's biceps. Even a small man is generally quite a bit bigger than me. Hmm. It seems that I am "weaker." And yet it is SO hard for me to accept. When I come to something that I find hard to accept I tend to default to, well I just need to let the Lord speak to me (generally a very good default). But I was horrified as I realized how deeply rooted this lie was as I asked myself, what if God tells me that women are weaker, can I receive this from the Lord. Oh have mercy on me Lord. It took a process of me receiving God's grace to receive what He wants to tell me, to be ok with accepting this. Even now I'm not yet to a point where I won't have to remind myself to not be offended if a guy graciously tells me not to carry the heavy box. I share this particular example because it is one that I find most ridiculous when I really think about it. It shouldn't be hard for me to accept that my five foot self is naturally not as strong as most men. (The problem is that society had connected the lie to a lie about value and worth...but I won't go into that at the moment.)

Despite how obnoxious it is to realize the stupid lies that I hadn't realized infiltrated my life, I'm excited to let the Lord teach me about being a godly woman. Because in much lesser extremes, I see that most Christian woman have excepted things from society that weren't from God. I want to be confident in who God says I am, and I want to be open to whatever that is. You see I'm excited because I've had a taste of the freedom that comes with knowing the role that God has created for you and only having to worry about fulfilling that role instead of trying to fulfill all sorts of roles that others try to put on you. I've seen this play out in other areas of my life, but I've even had a chance to taste it in being a woman.

 While I was in Japan I had a southern guy friend. As I got to know him I immediately realized that his perception of men and women was different, and he was treating me out of his understanding of who men and women are. I took it as a cultural difference, and after fighting my feminist inclinations initially in our friendship, I began to just let it be his culture and go with it. I didn't take offense when he told me to carry the light box because I wasn't that strong. He used those words, but somehow they rolled off because I deemed them cultural, but really more so because I knew that in his mind they made me no less valuable or capable.

 In retrospect I found a lot of freedom in that friendship because I was not expected to be a man, or understand a man, or fend for myself because I'm just as capable as a man and don't need a man. I was free to have emotions. I was free to let myself be looked out for and have the heavy objects carried for me. I was free to not try to prove myself just as valuable and capable. There were defined differences, that were simply differences and suggested nothing about my worth or ability. I don't know how to explain the freedom that this brought. Because I just received it as a culture difference to accept, I was able to experience a taste of the freedom that comes from understanding what my role is.

 So now I journey with the Lord to let Him reveal to me who He has created me to be. I let Him give me my value and worth based on who He is and what He's given me, not based on me at all. I let Him show me the lies the have seeped in unknowingly and be set free by His truth. Should be a fun journey.

Trust and Cars

Have you ever heard that phrase, "Put God in the driver seat of your car?" It's made sense to me. Let God have control. I'm not sure that's the best picture though.

My house sits on a busy street. We often have a lot of cars in our driveway, parked in every crevice leaving very little concrete visible. The other day I needed to get out but was sandwiched between a few cars leaving what felt like only inches to maneuver in. My friend stood outside my car guiding me out. The process was rather tedious as I'd move a few inches in one direction to then be able to move a few more inches another direction. So I sat in my car as my friend directed me to turn my wheels a little more to the right or left and back up then go forward. The process was slow, but mostly because each time he told me to drive I'd looked at what I could see and said, "I feel like I'm going to hit the car," and then slowly followed the directions he was giving me. As I very slowly progressed out of my parking spot my friend looked at me and said with a bit of exasperation, "Do you trust me?" What a silly question I thought as I answered, "Yes..sigh" and thought, "that's why I'm still driving like you say." In retrospect, I trusted, but the level of my trust compared to what my brain said the situation was, caused me to drive very slowly and hesitantly. I never hit one of the other cars and as I drove off I began to think about the situation. My friend had a different perspective than I did. I could not see what he was seeing. What I could see was that it looked a lot like I was going to hit a car. I could not see the reality he saw. Hmmm a bit like me and God I do believe.

God gives me the authority of my life, but tells me that it will be best for Him and for me if I follow His directions. I was the one driving the car. I had the power to move it, but I needed my friend to tell me how to get out of my parking space and then I had to trust his directions. God knows the beginning from the end. He knows every detail of every circumstance. He can give me much better directions than the ones I can come up with from my perspective.

The Bible talks about us going from glory to glory. God gives us revelations about one thing. We start to catch on to something about Him and then He begins to show us something new. So where I am at is a place where God is saying I have things for you to do, but right now you need to trust and act upon the little things I'm telling you. I could have just decided to sit in my parking spot, but I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere. I would have been safe, and no car would have been dented, but that would have been dumb considering there was somewhere for me to go, and someone who could get me out so I could go there, I just had to trust.

Maybe that's where you're at. I've been there. You look around and say, it's too big of a risk, from my perspective it doesn't look safe. I'll just stay here in this safe spot. Maybe you tried to start to get out, but gave up when it seemed impossible. But it just so happens that God has places for you to go and if you will trust in what He sees, you will be safely taken out of your "safe" spot and made available for the new things God has for you.

Or maybe you are waiting for someone else to move their car when in reality they don't need to. What you see tells you that things are not in place for you to do that thing God has told you about. When in God's reality, from His perspective, everything is in place for you to do what He's asking. You are just waiting for your seen reality to match up and wasting your time waiting for the right time that is actually already there.

Will we move when God says, trust that He sees what we don't, and take what feels like a risk and begin to move according to His direction? It's one thing to say, "Here God, you drive." and a totally different one to listen when He says, "Ok let's go, everything is ready, just trust my directions."

Faith is believing what is unseen. If you can see it, it doesn't require faith. But faith is not foolish or blind because you're faith is not to reside in a circumstance or outcome, it is to reside in God, the faithful one.

I sure do appreciate how patient God is though. There are times when I sit in the car and keep asking, "Are you sure God? Are you sure I won't hit the other car? Are you sure I'm safe?" And He keeps reassuring me. Then when I begin to follow His directions and drive, I drive hesitantly and slowly, reminding Him, "this looks crazy God, but I'm going to do it." He's incredibly patient, but how much more effective would I be, and how much more quickly could I reach a destination if I'd trust and drive with confidence.

God is great. I just needed to get out of my driveway, and God totally took my experience and said, "Now let's learn a little something about trust. Daughter, do you trust me? We've got some things to do, let's get a move on."

Preaching it up...

Before we left for Sri Lanka, I was warned, you will be asked to preach when you are in Sri Lanka. I've "preached" to teens and kids, but to an entire church congregation...sounded a bit daunting. I was reminded that the Lord tells us the Holy Spirit will give us words at the hour we need them.

As the first Sunday approached I began to feel a bit nervous. A few days ahead of time our team was given our speaking assignments (this in itself is a bit a of a trip...we are treated so well by the church members and they graciously want almost all of us speaking to various congregations on Sunday). Initially I was not given an assignment, but remembering the stories from my friend who came on the first trip, I mentally prepared myself to get a last minute assignment and that was what happened. I was asked to speak to the youth. I was told this on Saturday afternoon and so preparation happened that night. Earlier in the day the Lord showed me what He wanted to speak to them, but as I began to actually outline I eventually felt the Lord tell me to just stop and let it be simple. He gave me a couple verses to share and I knew He'd have to fill in all the rest when the time came. I didn't know how long I was supposed to speak so I knew it was up to the Holy Spirit to give me words anyway. That Sunday morning came and I was given an hour to speak to a small group of youth. I shared what the Lord put on my heart from 1 Peter 2:9 that they have been chosen and they are royal and holy. I told them to let God define them and the Lord directed me as I spoke for an hour.

I don't know if it was my willingness to let the Lord use me or simply His grace and love for me, but since that morning I haven't felt nervous at all as different speaking opportunities (or maybe better named assignments) have come up. I recently read in Acts where the apostles asked for boldness and the Holy Spirit came on them and filled them with boldness. The Lord is filling me with boldness and I have a new confidence to speak to people. The confidence isn't at all about my ability, it's rooted in recognizing God wants to speak through me and He can use me if I'm submitted to Him. So since that first Sunday I've had a few more opportunities to speak. One was sharing a short word with a group of church leaders, the next was preaching at a house church, and just today I gave a message at a church conference. All of these have been so humbling. I know myself. I know my own ability. I know that what is coming out is from the Holy Spirit. He is using me through my willingness to be used, but it is humbling to see people sitting in the congregations listening to me speak to them. Me. I'm not a "preacher," but the Lord is using me to preach (so maybe now I am a preacher? haha). I don't know how to explain it. I don't feel worthy to stand before a group of church leaders and speak to them. I don't feel worthy to preach to a house church and have everyone in the congregation ask for me to pray for each of them, including the pastor and his ministers. I don't feel worthy to stand before a congregation at the church conference and be one of the session speakers. But it's not about what I feel. It's about what God says....kind of like what I told the youth. I must let God define me and use me based on His definition. He says I'm worthy because He has made me worthy. I'm worth listening to because He fills me with words. I carry His presence and am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I am His servant and proudly carry His name, doing His work. When you see that it has little to do with you or what you have to offer, but it's about what God can do with your willing heart and the things He's already put in you, it's fun. I'm having fun and feeling incredibly blessed as I get to minister to God's people in Sri Lanka. My God is so very very good!

So cool today too, I spoke about freedom. I told the congregation that God's freedom is so much bigger than what we know and He wants us to be free. I told them He's already paid for our freedom and freedom goes far beyond just having forgiveness. He died that we could have abundant life and He has freed us from be bound to sin. We are no longer bound. We are free. As I spoke I realized that my speaking was a testimony to what I was sharing. Not so long ago I would have been so nervous to stand before those people and bring God's word. I'm not sure I would have had the courage to do it. It is because of the freedom the God has brought me into that I could confidently stand before these people and declare to them that God paid for their freedom and wants them to live free. So cool.

Foreign Living

I love being in a foreign place. There is always so much to learn and take in. It's fascinating. A few days ago we walked into to town to pick up dinner. Just the walk along the street was exciting in itself. Traffic is....different here. I found the walk a bit thrilling and a test of trust as drivers zoomed past us making four lanes out of two. Everyday as we drive to various places I observe the cars and pedestrians, what one person here referred to as organized chaos and I know that the though it may appear chaotic, like a pedestrian is in danger of being run over, there actually is a strategy to it where people don't get run over. As I walked along the street I had to remember that the cars zooming by me wouldn't hit me.

So much to be learned here. I haven't seen much below the surface. I'm sure that if I were to actually move here there would be much more underlying that I would have to learn, but even on the surface there is so much to take in. When grocery shopping for produce you must give your produce to a worker who will then weigh and price it. When eating you use your right hand and no silverware. Orange coconuts are for drinking and brown ones are for cooking.

I love this. I love all there is to take in. I love the cultural nuances, but more than that I love the people to get to know and the stories that have shaped them.

Community work fueled by the Holy Spirit

It's amazing to me to see all that is coming out of what appears to be such a small church here in Sri Lanka. Aside from all the church services that happen on Sundays in various parts of the city and even county that have come from connections with this small church, they also support an organization that the pastor started which ministers to so many people in all different communities.

A few days ago our team had the opportunity to go north. This in itself was a gift. Only three years ago the north was completely war torn as it was the location of the the Tamil Tigers, a rebel group in Sri Lanka. The church saw needs in this area. God gave the pastor vision, and now there are a number of ministries happening. We only got to see a handful of them, if that.

The second day we were in the north we went to breakfast. As we sat eating a sort of pancake-ish thing (not really a pancake considering you eat it with curry....) I listened to a woman describe all the services the organization runs and talk about how they were literally started off faith and are now largely supported by the church we have been working with. I can't even remember all the programs that are happening, I just remember sitting there amazed by the way God is moving through this church and all that is happening in His name because of the people that are willing to walk in faith and watch the Lord provide for the things He's asking them to do.

I was impacted by the programs we did get to see. We first stopped at a girls home. The war ended in 2009 after many many years. It was brutal. There were child soldiers. We walked into the home and were greeted by beautiful young women. Then we were told some of their stories. Able to assemble a weapon or bomb in a matter of seconds. Dared to go into the enemy camp and slit a soldier's throat. Watched family members killed. And on and on. They are beautiful, sweet young women. The program doesn't force the girls to participate in any religious activity, or preach to them, but the workers there love the girls in the name of Jesus. The girls watch as the workers do their devotions. They get prayed for, and are prayed for constantly by the workers. Most of the girls choose to come to Jesus and girls that were once child soldiers are completely transformed and renewed. It was so so awesome to see.


The second place we visited was a vocational training school. The young women at the girls home along with other young people from the community receive vocational training here. They learn IT, sewing, leather work, and I think a few other things. They get to choose which classes they'd like to take and learn the skills and have a chance to practice them as well. It was really neat to go and see a group of students learning leather work to make bags, and hear about how they will then be able to run a shop in town as part of the class to learn all aspects of business.

The third place we visited was a school for children with special needs. There were 8 children in class when we visited. I've been in a number of classrooms for students with special needs in the states. This room had only the basics. Students, workbooks, a few manipulatives, and teachers that really care and really pray. We heard a few students' stories. One boy that was very violent and unpredictable when he came, but now is much better and came and greeted us when we arrived, very inquisitive though non-verbal. One little girls who has very brittle bones and did not walk when she first came. She stood up, walked around, and sang to us while we were there. Another girl we were told had recently left the school because she had been brought up to a level where she could attend the local school.

I was impressed by all that is happening, but I think even more impressed by all that God is doing. The people running these places are mostly pastors. They provide a lot of services, but what I saw was kids and young people that weren't just given good skills or education, they were prayed into transformation. The little girl with brittle bones....I looked around that room and saw nothing that would make it so she could walk. Jesus did it. The young women at the girls home were clearly restored through Jesus and we were told that the judge who makes decisions about homes like these has made comments about how the young women from this home are noticeably different.

For a long time I thought that a good program would change people's lives. I thought that the right kind of community work could do it. Here I got to see a beautiful picture of programs empowered by the Holy Spirit. Transformation like I haven't heard of before takes place there. Being there, seeing the humble means that they have to work with, but the significant changes that are happening in people's lives, points directly to the power of Jesus.

Welcome to SRI LANKA!

I don't know why it is that it feels so much easier to write a blog when I'm in a foreign country. I suppose it gives me a specific focus that let's me know what I should tell you about. Maybe this trip will give me the momentum to keep up with writing once I return home. You should pray for me that that's the case :)

We arrived in Sri Lanka about 5 days ago after 15 hours of flying, a 12 hour layover in Dubai, and then another 4 hour flight. Yikes that was a lot of travel! I loved that we had the time to go sight seeing in Dubai, but throwing in that extra 12 hours messed with my internal clock a bit more than I anticipated.

I have never been to a country like Dubai. Flying in, we looked down on desert land, and once landed we entered a high tech city like I've never seen. Japan is advanced, but Dubai was crazy. There was a holographic lady a the airport saying something (I was too far away to hear), and touch screen directory maps at the mall. I loved the opportunity to experience yet another place and another culture. We say the tallest building in the world, drove onto the man-made palm tree island, and walked the malls that had a huge indoor aquarium, and another that had an indoor ski resort (in the middle of the desert!). It was pretty incredible. I do believe that my favorite part though, was the opportunity to meet our teammate, Conrad's, sister and her family. That is my favorite part of being in new countries, meeting locals and seeing life lived in a different place.

After Dubai we hopped back on a plane and took the final ride to Sri Lanka. We were greeted by one of the pastors and a church member and driven to the pastor's home for a snack before being taken to the house we are staying at. All of the people I have met here have been very warm and welcoming. That was the beginning of the continual flow of new people to meet.

Oh dear, I should have begun this blogging thing sooner...too many details. Let's see....highlights.

Pastor Leslie has been here the since we arrived and will be flying out in the next couple days. It's been such a blessing to have a chance to talk with him while he is here. After talking with him for only a few minutes you know that this man has one purpose and that is to do the will of the Lord. It is all he talks about and all he does and everyone around him knows it and have an incredibly large amount of respect for him because of it.

Last night we had the honor of attending a commissioning service for a group of pastors here. They began the time with worship which always stirs something in me to sit among people praising God is another language. It's like getting a glimpse of heaven where all tribes and tongues will praise the Lord together. I think what struck me most was being amount a group of people, committed to Jesus despite the obvious cost. In the states this isn't something we really understand in the same way. The Lord has been teaching me about the cost of following Him lately, but even so, here it is different. Here there is persecution. There are laws limiting how you share about Jesus. The other religious groups will not talk about co-existence like the bumper stickers I see driving around Oregon (a place that has persecution of believers all it's own), they don't want to co-exist. They don't want believers encroaching on them. When these pastors stand up to be anointed and commissioned, there is understanding that there will be a price to pay, but they stand with boldness, knowing that no matter how high the price, the reward is greater because we have a God that loves us, and has given everything to prove it to us.

This morning I was reading in Acts 4 and I was struck by the verses that said, Peter and John were arrested, however, many of those that had heard their preaching believed (v. 1-4). They literally say the cost of following Christ, but they believed anyway. In the states we frequently talk about being "seeker-friendly" or we will watch our words to make sure we don't scare people away from believing. That's not how it went in Acts, and that's not what I see here. If we are convinced of the reward of following Christ, there is no cost too high to pay.

I was thinking of this personally earlier today. If I lived here, would I be willing to pay the cost even if the persecution was strong. I sat here thinking about how it may be very difficult, but I couldn't come up with a scenario in my mind where I was turn away because even when I think about persecution I am so completely convinced of the truth of Christ, I couldn't turn away. Even if I turned away it would be believing that Christ is still true and so the thought of it only makes me think of disappointing my God with my cowardliness. I would never want to do that.