This morning I woke up to be with the Lord. I cozied myself into a blanket in a our chilly sun room and was singing. I don't know about you, but I often come across things in my life where there's nothing I can do to change a situation or address a problem and in that regard I started singing "Jesus, I call on Jesus, name above all names, holiest one. Emanuel, God is with us, blessed redeemer, holiest one." God often speaks to me in song, but this one I was declaring. I was recognizing who my God is and the power in His name. Then He spoke. I started singing another song that I haven't heard or sang in a long time. "God is bigger than the air I breath, the world we'll leave. God will save save the day, and all will say my glorious, my glorious. And all You ever do is change the old to new..." He interrupted my cry to Him and said, "Sara, do you really know who you are calling on?"
I know I have a good God. I'm confident of His love. I'm confident of His care for me, and I see miracles on a regular basis, but even so I call out to Him with this thought of, I know this is hard God (this situation etc.), but you're God so you can figure something out. He's GOD. My situation may look challenging and it may seem like a solution will be hard to come up with, but He's GOD. For Him it is EASY. I am calling on the God that created the world. Out of a void, He made not only a something, He made a perfectly designed world complete with a vast variety of living creatures on it. Out of the DUST he formed a HUMAN. Regardless of what my situation, issue, feeling, brokenness, relational issue, financial state...He is GOD. For Him it's easy. He doesn't have to labor over plans and strategies, to God it is simple. He knows exactly what to do. "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Rom 8:31
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Monday, December 3, 2012
He heard you already
"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" Matt 7:11
I've read this. I've contemplated it. God's given me some understanding of it and then I got a little guy to help me really get it.
I've read this. I've contemplated it. God's given me some understanding of it and then I got a little guy to help me really get it.
There have been a few times when I've asked God for something and then asked Him again and then again and then He told me to quit asking cause He's already on it and I need to trust Him. So when you're three, your favorite thing to do is ask questions. Lately, my little guy will ask for something, which I will tell him I'm getting, and then he will ask me over and over and over and over from the time it takes me to get that item and bring it to him until it is right before his eyes. I find myself now responding to his continual questions by asking him, "Did you ask me that already?" "yes" "Did I say I would do that?" "yes" "Do you think I am going to do that?" "yes" "Ok, then you probably don't have to ask me anymore, because you're right I will do that for you, it just takes me a minute." On a screen that could be read in a condescending way which is not how it goes, just a conversation, but as I hear myself remind him over and over that I am going to do what he asked and he really doesn't need to keep asking, I thought about me and God. I do what my little guy does all the time to God. "Hey God! Are you going to do it? You going to do it? You going to do it? You going to do it?" And already He told me yes. I can relax and rest in Him cause He's trustworthy. He WILL do what He said. Hm. I can enjoy where He has me and know there is so much more He's said is to come to pass in my life. In the same way when sweet boy has asked me for a glass of juice, he can relax and enjoy his food while I get it, instead of checking in on the status of his juice ever two seconds.
God is as trustworthy as they come. If He said it, He will do it.
One day I woke up a mom...
So a few months ago I gained a precious three year old boy. That's a story for a different post, you are welcome to ask if you want to know more about that, but what I'm really writing about is this one time Jesus reminded me that He loves me with a little lump of poo.
Earlier today I went to get him out of my roommates room to have him have some potty time. We're potty training so we're in the "sit on the potty all day long" stage where we spend time sitting on the super awesome, colorful, music playing potty to practice putting our pee pee in there. Clearly when I say we what I really mean, is him. He practices. I'm already quite adept at using the potty. I put my pee in there and I put my poo poo in there and sometimes when I come out he asks me which one. Anyway, the timer went off and I went to get him. He happened to be playing cars with my roommate and didn't like the idea of interrupting his play time, so decided that chucking a match box car across the room as hard as he could was a better idea. I happened to disagree which landed him in time out. Now I felt that throwing a car was an unreasonable response and it happened to make me quite frustrated. So we talked, he said he was sorry and we moved to the potty. As he sat on the potty I was having a conversation in my mind about how I have to be quick to let things go, but how really I'm still frustrated. Not so much that he threw the car, it happens, but that he's learning appropriate responses to things and these types of responses still happen more often then I like. So as I wait thinking about how I need to not be frustrated, he poos. First time in the potty. Unless you've potty trained a kid, you probably don't realize how very very exciting a little poo in the potty is. God is gracious to me. As I tried to not be frustrated it all faded when God had my little guy drop a gift in the potty.
You can look forward to more adventures into motherhood with a three year old...Tis the season.
Earlier today I went to get him out of my roommates room to have him have some potty time. We're potty training so we're in the "sit on the potty all day long" stage where we spend time sitting on the super awesome, colorful, music playing potty to practice putting our pee pee in there. Clearly when I say we what I really mean, is him. He practices. I'm already quite adept at using the potty. I put my pee in there and I put my poo poo in there and sometimes when I come out he asks me which one. Anyway, the timer went off and I went to get him. He happened to be playing cars with my roommate and didn't like the idea of interrupting his play time, so decided that chucking a match box car across the room as hard as he could was a better idea. I happened to disagree which landed him in time out. Now I felt that throwing a car was an unreasonable response and it happened to make me quite frustrated. So we talked, he said he was sorry and we moved to the potty. As he sat on the potty I was having a conversation in my mind about how I have to be quick to let things go, but how really I'm still frustrated. Not so much that he threw the car, it happens, but that he's learning appropriate responses to things and these types of responses still happen more often then I like. So as I wait thinking about how I need to not be frustrated, he poos. First time in the potty. Unless you've potty trained a kid, you probably don't realize how very very exciting a little poo in the potty is. God is gracious to me. As I tried to not be frustrated it all faded when God had my little guy drop a gift in the potty.
You can look forward to more adventures into motherhood with a three year old...Tis the season.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Walking as a Woman
I wrote a while back that I'd take you on a journey with me to discover what it is to be a woman of God. I didn't exactly take you on my journey. This is partly because the time to write just hasn't been there, but partly because the way God does things are different then I tend to expect.
I'd sensed from the Lord that this time around I wasn't supposed to avoid figuring out what is really menas to be a woman. I assumed that meant He'd involve me a lot in the process of revealing it to me. So I obediently have been asking God to give me revelation, been looking in the Scriptures, been seeking out Godly women, and God's been showing me things. All of a sudden I'd be reading my Bible and God would show me things about women. I read about Samson and Delilah and was struck by the influence a woman can have and realized that while Delilah used it in a corrupt way, if that same influence was used to build up a man and spur him on toward what God has for him, it'd be super powerful. I read 2 John and realized it was written to an elect woman of the church. All sorts of stuff is being revealed to me, but I'd been trekking along on the journey, trusting God is transforming me, and then I have a conversation and become aware that I thoroughly consider myself a woman.
I sat with my friend talking about how we tend to consider certain milestones entrance into adulthood and she was considering this in her own life. As we talked I started to realized that I was viewing our conversation through the lenses of someone who considers herself no longer a girl but a woman. I smiled to myself at the realization because God is so good, I hadn't even realized He'd done it.
It wasn't a certain verse I read. It wasn't revelation about what it means to be a woman and realizing I fit into it. My view of myself as a woman was solidified when I recognized what God is calling me to. I have an assignment that can't be completed by a girl. I have a responsibility that only a woman can carry. The things God is calling me to forces me to walk as a women, and the cool thing about it, is that if the assignment is given by God that means that He's saying, little girl, the time has come, walk as the woman I say you are. When I agreed to walk in the assignment, without realizing it, I was also setting aside the girl in me and fully embracing the woman God has risen up in me. I wish I had better words to explain the gravity of this and how awesome it is.
I watched the movie 300 not that long ago. Not normally a movie I'd watch, but my friend was telling me the spiritual implications they saw in it and I wanted to see for myself. Connecting the concept of Spartans to the army of God is a little bit nuts and really pretty eye opening. The elements of unity and focus are impactful. Something I've considered a lot after watching though, was the woman that the queen was. Her strength. Her priorities. Her prominence. Her job could not be done by a girl, she has to walk as a woman, there's no room or time to be a girl. Too much was at stake and her role was too important. That's kind of how I feel. It's a privilege really. We've been given assignments by the Lord. He's entrusted us and He declares we are able and makes us sufficient for the task.
The life God has called me to, and the season He has me in, is one where there is no room for playing around (I am not saying it's not fun or exciting. God has set me free and it's fantastic, not to mention God's way is exciting, exhilarating, and full of joy). Here there is no room for trying out my own stuff. There is no room for compromise. If I want to see the fullness of God, if I want to fulfill the assignment, if I want to live the abundant life, it's all about doing exactly what God says and literally letting Him direct every step. God is so incredibly faithful!
I'd sensed from the Lord that this time around I wasn't supposed to avoid figuring out what is really menas to be a woman. I assumed that meant He'd involve me a lot in the process of revealing it to me. So I obediently have been asking God to give me revelation, been looking in the Scriptures, been seeking out Godly women, and God's been showing me things. All of a sudden I'd be reading my Bible and God would show me things about women. I read about Samson and Delilah and was struck by the influence a woman can have and realized that while Delilah used it in a corrupt way, if that same influence was used to build up a man and spur him on toward what God has for him, it'd be super powerful. I read 2 John and realized it was written to an elect woman of the church. All sorts of stuff is being revealed to me, but I'd been trekking along on the journey, trusting God is transforming me, and then I have a conversation and become aware that I thoroughly consider myself a woman.
I sat with my friend talking about how we tend to consider certain milestones entrance into adulthood and she was considering this in her own life. As we talked I started to realized that I was viewing our conversation through the lenses of someone who considers herself no longer a girl but a woman. I smiled to myself at the realization because God is so good, I hadn't even realized He'd done it.
It wasn't a certain verse I read. It wasn't revelation about what it means to be a woman and realizing I fit into it. My view of myself as a woman was solidified when I recognized what God is calling me to. I have an assignment that can't be completed by a girl. I have a responsibility that only a woman can carry. The things God is calling me to forces me to walk as a women, and the cool thing about it, is that if the assignment is given by God that means that He's saying, little girl, the time has come, walk as the woman I say you are. When I agreed to walk in the assignment, without realizing it, I was also setting aside the girl in me and fully embracing the woman God has risen up in me. I wish I had better words to explain the gravity of this and how awesome it is.
I watched the movie 300 not that long ago. Not normally a movie I'd watch, but my friend was telling me the spiritual implications they saw in it and I wanted to see for myself. Connecting the concept of Spartans to the army of God is a little bit nuts and really pretty eye opening. The elements of unity and focus are impactful. Something I've considered a lot after watching though, was the woman that the queen was. Her strength. Her priorities. Her prominence. Her job could not be done by a girl, she has to walk as a woman, there's no room or time to be a girl. Too much was at stake and her role was too important. That's kind of how I feel. It's a privilege really. We've been given assignments by the Lord. He's entrusted us and He declares we are able and makes us sufficient for the task.
The life God has called me to, and the season He has me in, is one where there is no room for playing around (I am not saying it's not fun or exciting. God has set me free and it's fantastic, not to mention God's way is exciting, exhilarating, and full of joy). Here there is no room for trying out my own stuff. There is no room for compromise. If I want to see the fullness of God, if I want to fulfill the assignment, if I want to live the abundant life, it's all about doing exactly what God says and literally letting Him direct every step. God is so incredibly faithful!
Monday, April 30, 2012
It's time to be a woman
For some time now I've had an aversion to doily coated women's meetings. I've never wanted to sit with a group of women sipping tea, painting my nails, and talking about shopping and homemaking. The roots of my aversion are varied, everything from feeling it to be surface level, to not feeling like I have common interests in these settings, to the unspoken feminist messages Portland fed me growing up. After twenty six and a half years of being content avoiding these events and discussions, being satisfied simply knowing I am His and my main role in life to to bring glory and honor to God, He has invited me on a journey that involves learning my role specifically as a woman of God.
In the past when I'd come up against an idea about a female's role, I would become frustrated hearing everyone's differing opinions on the topic, and in the end I would settle on, I don't care, I just know I'm His and I will do what He tells me. However, this time I'm confronted with the concept that men and women are not only different, but have different roles and the Lord is asking me to let Him tell me what that means and how He designed it. So I'm holding onto Him with white knuckles, bracing myself to have a paradigm shift. Already He's confronted some deep rooted issues I didn't even realize I had in me.
As I'm beginning this journey I began to pay attention to the ladies around me and I began to do some reading. What I've found so far is that most woman think they know what it means to be a woman (like I have thought myself) when in reality, few of us can articulate it or back it up with depth of scripture. Society, including Christian culture, has just told us things that we've unknowingly sucked in and accepted.
So I thought I would take you on this journey with me as I'm certain is will be at least a little life changing for me and I'm confident the Lord will reveal things. To start off let's just throw out some things I'm quite certain about and looking forward to gaining more revelation on.
1. There is something about a woman's strength that is different than a man's and has a different purpose.
2. God desires a gentleness and meekness in a woman that brings a certain kind of power and transformation.
3. Something about what God's innately put in woman that allows them to mother.
4. some other stuff that isn't coming to mind at the moment.
Second, God's already confronted some things in me that I didn't realize were there. So let's take a little look at some of the messages I was fed from a feminist society in the city I grew up in.
1. Women can and should do anything a man can do.
2. To desire only to be married and have a family is weak and demeans women, as women are capable of anything men are capable of.
3. Women should be able to think like a man, and should not be overly emotional.
4. Women and men do not have different roles based on their gender, they lead lives differently only because they are unique individuals.
5. Women are strong.
6. I'm sure there are way more but those are some that come to mind right off hand.
Now understand that I grew up in a godly home with parents that have a good marriage. My mom stayed at home with my brother and I and I have always regarded her as someone who is incredibly intelligent and capable. I never questioned the decision for her to be home raising my brother and I. I also see her as an incredibly influential woman. She has impacted, to a very great degree, a huge number of lives from relatives, to neighbors, to church goers, to friends, to people she pretty much just picked up off the street.
However, despite these things I have come to realize that there are lies deeply rooted in me that I haven't even realized were there. For example, the lie that woman are just as strong as men in the same way men are strong. Being told I couldn't do something because I was too weak was incredibly offensive to me. So I heard a godly women comment about her being the weaker one in her marriage and found myself completely taken back. She wasn't saying this in a way to devalue herself in any way. (Now realize I believe woman have strength, but it's different than a man's strength). So I began to question my strong reaction to the comment. Why am I offended when a man or woman suggests I shouldn't carry a heavy box because I'm a woman? I started to look at the facts. I'm five feet tall. My thigh is about the thickness of some men's biceps. Even a small man is generally quite a bit bigger than me. Hmm. It seems that I am "weaker." And yet it is SO hard for me to accept. When I come to something that I find hard to accept I tend to default to, well I just need to let the Lord speak to me (generally a very good default). But I was horrified as I realized how deeply rooted this lie was as I asked myself, what if God tells me that women are weaker, can I receive this from the Lord. Oh have mercy on me Lord. It took a process of me receiving God's grace to receive what He wants to tell me, to be ok with accepting this. Even now I'm not yet to a point where I won't have to remind myself to not be offended if a guy graciously tells me not to carry the heavy box. I share this particular example because it is one that I find most ridiculous when I really think about it. It shouldn't be hard for me to accept that my five foot self is naturally not as strong as most men. (The problem is that society had connected the lie to a lie about value and worth...but I won't go into that at the moment.)
Despite how obnoxious it is to realize the stupid lies that I hadn't realized infiltrated my life, I'm excited to let the Lord teach me about being a godly woman. Because in much lesser extremes, I see that most Christian woman have excepted things from society that weren't from God. I want to be confident in who God says I am, and I want to be open to whatever that is. You see I'm excited because I've had a taste of the freedom that comes with knowing the role that God has created for you and only having to worry about fulfilling that role instead of trying to fulfill all sorts of roles that others try to put on you. I've seen this play out in other areas of my life, but I've even had a chance to taste it in being a woman.
While I was in Japan I had a southern guy friend. As I got to know him I immediately realized that his perception of men and women was different, and he was treating me out of his understanding of who men and women are. I took it as a cultural difference, and after fighting my feminist inclinations initially in our friendship, I began to just let it be his culture and go with it. I didn't take offense when he told me to carry the light box because I wasn't that strong. He used those words, but somehow they rolled off because I deemed them cultural, but really more so because I knew that in his mind they made me no less valuable or capable.
In retrospect I found a lot of freedom in that friendship because I was not expected to be a man, or understand a man, or fend for myself because I'm just as capable as a man and don't need a man. I was free to have emotions. I was free to let myself be looked out for and have the heavy objects carried for me. I was free to not try to prove myself just as valuable and capable. There were defined differences, that were simply differences and suggested nothing about my worth or ability. I don't know how to explain the freedom that this brought. Because I just received it as a culture difference to accept, I was able to experience a taste of the freedom that comes from understanding what my role is.
So now I journey with the Lord to let Him reveal to me who He has created me to be. I let Him give me my value and worth based on who He is and what He's given me, not based on me at all. I let Him show me the lies the have seeped in unknowingly and be set free by His truth. Should be a fun journey.
In the past when I'd come up against an idea about a female's role, I would become frustrated hearing everyone's differing opinions on the topic, and in the end I would settle on, I don't care, I just know I'm His and I will do what He tells me. However, this time I'm confronted with the concept that men and women are not only different, but have different roles and the Lord is asking me to let Him tell me what that means and how He designed it. So I'm holding onto Him with white knuckles, bracing myself to have a paradigm shift. Already He's confronted some deep rooted issues I didn't even realize I had in me.
As I'm beginning this journey I began to pay attention to the ladies around me and I began to do some reading. What I've found so far is that most woman think they know what it means to be a woman (like I have thought myself) when in reality, few of us can articulate it or back it up with depth of scripture. Society, including Christian culture, has just told us things that we've unknowingly sucked in and accepted.
So I thought I would take you on this journey with me as I'm certain is will be at least a little life changing for me and I'm confident the Lord will reveal things. To start off let's just throw out some things I'm quite certain about and looking forward to gaining more revelation on.
1. There is something about a woman's strength that is different than a man's and has a different purpose.
2. God desires a gentleness and meekness in a woman that brings a certain kind of power and transformation.
3. Something about what God's innately put in woman that allows them to mother.
4. some other stuff that isn't coming to mind at the moment.
Second, God's already confronted some things in me that I didn't realize were there. So let's take a little look at some of the messages I was fed from a feminist society in the city I grew up in.
1. Women can and should do anything a man can do.
2. To desire only to be married and have a family is weak and demeans women, as women are capable of anything men are capable of.
3. Women should be able to think like a man, and should not be overly emotional.
4. Women and men do not have different roles based on their gender, they lead lives differently only because they are unique individuals.
5. Women are strong.
6. I'm sure there are way more but those are some that come to mind right off hand.
Now understand that I grew up in a godly home with parents that have a good marriage. My mom stayed at home with my brother and I and I have always regarded her as someone who is incredibly intelligent and capable. I never questioned the decision for her to be home raising my brother and I. I also see her as an incredibly influential woman. She has impacted, to a very great degree, a huge number of lives from relatives, to neighbors, to church goers, to friends, to people she pretty much just picked up off the street.
However, despite these things I have come to realize that there are lies deeply rooted in me that I haven't even realized were there. For example, the lie that woman are just as strong as men in the same way men are strong. Being told I couldn't do something because I was too weak was incredibly offensive to me. So I heard a godly women comment about her being the weaker one in her marriage and found myself completely taken back. She wasn't saying this in a way to devalue herself in any way. (Now realize I believe woman have strength, but it's different than a man's strength). So I began to question my strong reaction to the comment. Why am I offended when a man or woman suggests I shouldn't carry a heavy box because I'm a woman? I started to look at the facts. I'm five feet tall. My thigh is about the thickness of some men's biceps. Even a small man is generally quite a bit bigger than me. Hmm. It seems that I am "weaker." And yet it is SO hard for me to accept. When I come to something that I find hard to accept I tend to default to, well I just need to let the Lord speak to me (generally a very good default). But I was horrified as I realized how deeply rooted this lie was as I asked myself, what if God tells me that women are weaker, can I receive this from the Lord. Oh have mercy on me Lord. It took a process of me receiving God's grace to receive what He wants to tell me, to be ok with accepting this. Even now I'm not yet to a point where I won't have to remind myself to not be offended if a guy graciously tells me not to carry the heavy box. I share this particular example because it is one that I find most ridiculous when I really think about it. It shouldn't be hard for me to accept that my five foot self is naturally not as strong as most men. (The problem is that society had connected the lie to a lie about value and worth...but I won't go into that at the moment.)
Despite how obnoxious it is to realize the stupid lies that I hadn't realized infiltrated my life, I'm excited to let the Lord teach me about being a godly woman. Because in much lesser extremes, I see that most Christian woman have excepted things from society that weren't from God. I want to be confident in who God says I am, and I want to be open to whatever that is. You see I'm excited because I've had a taste of the freedom that comes with knowing the role that God has created for you and only having to worry about fulfilling that role instead of trying to fulfill all sorts of roles that others try to put on you. I've seen this play out in other areas of my life, but I've even had a chance to taste it in being a woman.
While I was in Japan I had a southern guy friend. As I got to know him I immediately realized that his perception of men and women was different, and he was treating me out of his understanding of who men and women are. I took it as a cultural difference, and after fighting my feminist inclinations initially in our friendship, I began to just let it be his culture and go with it. I didn't take offense when he told me to carry the light box because I wasn't that strong. He used those words, but somehow they rolled off because I deemed them cultural, but really more so because I knew that in his mind they made me no less valuable or capable.
In retrospect I found a lot of freedom in that friendship because I was not expected to be a man, or understand a man, or fend for myself because I'm just as capable as a man and don't need a man. I was free to have emotions. I was free to let myself be looked out for and have the heavy objects carried for me. I was free to not try to prove myself just as valuable and capable. There were defined differences, that were simply differences and suggested nothing about my worth or ability. I don't know how to explain the freedom that this brought. Because I just received it as a culture difference to accept, I was able to experience a taste of the freedom that comes from understanding what my role is.
So now I journey with the Lord to let Him reveal to me who He has created me to be. I let Him give me my value and worth based on who He is and what He's given me, not based on me at all. I let Him show me the lies the have seeped in unknowingly and be set free by His truth. Should be a fun journey.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Trust and Cars
Have you ever heard that phrase, "Put God in the driver seat of your car?" It's made sense to me. Let God have control. I'm not sure that's the best picture though.
My house sits on a busy street. We often have a lot of cars in our driveway, parked in every crevice leaving very little concrete visible. The other day I needed to get out but was sandwiched between a few cars leaving what felt like only inches to maneuver in. My friend stood outside my car guiding me out. The process was rather tedious as I'd move a few inches in one direction to then be able to move a few more inches another direction. So I sat in my car as my friend directed me to turn my wheels a little more to the right or left and back up then go forward. The process was slow, but mostly because each time he told me to drive I'd looked at what I could see and said, "I feel like I'm going to hit the car," and then slowly followed the directions he was giving me. As I very slowly progressed out of my parking spot my friend looked at me and said with a bit of exasperation, "Do you trust me?" What a silly question I thought as I answered, "Yes..sigh" and thought, "that's why I'm still driving like you say." In retrospect, I trusted, but the level of my trust compared to what my brain said the situation was, caused me to drive very slowly and hesitantly. I never hit one of the other cars and as I drove off I began to think about the situation. My friend had a different perspective than I did. I could not see what he was seeing. What I could see was that it looked a lot like I was going to hit a car. I could not see the reality he saw. Hmmm a bit like me and God I do believe.
God gives me the authority of my life, but tells me that it will be best for Him and for me if I follow His directions. I was the one driving the car. I had the power to move it, but I needed my friend to tell me how to get out of my parking space and then I had to trust his directions. God knows the beginning from the end. He knows every detail of every circumstance. He can give me much better directions than the ones I can come up with from my perspective.
The Bible talks about us going from glory to glory. God gives us revelations about one thing. We start to catch on to something about Him and then He begins to show us something new. So where I am at is a place where God is saying I have things for you to do, but right now you need to trust and act upon the little things I'm telling you. I could have just decided to sit in my parking spot, but I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere. I would have been safe, and no car would have been dented, but that would have been dumb considering there was somewhere for me to go, and someone who could get me out so I could go there, I just had to trust.
Maybe that's where you're at. I've been there. You look around and say, it's too big of a risk, from my perspective it doesn't look safe. I'll just stay here in this safe spot. Maybe you tried to start to get out, but gave up when it seemed impossible. But it just so happens that God has places for you to go and if you will trust in what He sees, you will be safely taken out of your "safe" spot and made available for the new things God has for you.
Or maybe you are waiting for someone else to move their car when in reality they don't need to. What you see tells you that things are not in place for you to do that thing God has told you about. When in God's reality, from His perspective, everything is in place for you to do what He's asking. You are just waiting for your seen reality to match up and wasting your time waiting for the right time that is actually already there.
Will we move when God says, trust that He sees what we don't, and take what feels like a risk and begin to move according to His direction? It's one thing to say, "Here God, you drive." and a totally different one to listen when He says, "Ok let's go, everything is ready, just trust my directions."
Faith is believing what is unseen. If you can see it, it doesn't require faith. But faith is not foolish or blind because you're faith is not to reside in a circumstance or outcome, it is to reside in God, the faithful one.
I sure do appreciate how patient God is though. There are times when I sit in the car and keep asking, "Are you sure God? Are you sure I won't hit the other car? Are you sure I'm safe?" And He keeps reassuring me. Then when I begin to follow His directions and drive, I drive hesitantly and slowly, reminding Him, "this looks crazy God, but I'm going to do it." He's incredibly patient, but how much more effective would I be, and how much more quickly could I reach a destination if I'd trust and drive with confidence.
God is great. I just needed to get out of my driveway, and God totally took my experience and said, "Now let's learn a little something about trust. Daughter, do you trust me? We've got some things to do, let's get a move on."
My house sits on a busy street. We often have a lot of cars in our driveway, parked in every crevice leaving very little concrete visible. The other day I needed to get out but was sandwiched between a few cars leaving what felt like only inches to maneuver in. My friend stood outside my car guiding me out. The process was rather tedious as I'd move a few inches in one direction to then be able to move a few more inches another direction. So I sat in my car as my friend directed me to turn my wheels a little more to the right or left and back up then go forward. The process was slow, but mostly because each time he told me to drive I'd looked at what I could see and said, "I feel like I'm going to hit the car," and then slowly followed the directions he was giving me. As I very slowly progressed out of my parking spot my friend looked at me and said with a bit of exasperation, "Do you trust me?" What a silly question I thought as I answered, "Yes..sigh" and thought, "that's why I'm still driving like you say." In retrospect, I trusted, but the level of my trust compared to what my brain said the situation was, caused me to drive very slowly and hesitantly. I never hit one of the other cars and as I drove off I began to think about the situation. My friend had a different perspective than I did. I could not see what he was seeing. What I could see was that it looked a lot like I was going to hit a car. I could not see the reality he saw. Hmmm a bit like me and God I do believe.
God gives me the authority of my life, but tells me that it will be best for Him and for me if I follow His directions. I was the one driving the car. I had the power to move it, but I needed my friend to tell me how to get out of my parking space and then I had to trust his directions. God knows the beginning from the end. He knows every detail of every circumstance. He can give me much better directions than the ones I can come up with from my perspective.
The Bible talks about us going from glory to glory. God gives us revelations about one thing. We start to catch on to something about Him and then He begins to show us something new. So where I am at is a place where God is saying I have things for you to do, but right now you need to trust and act upon the little things I'm telling you. I could have just decided to sit in my parking spot, but I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere. I would have been safe, and no car would have been dented, but that would have been dumb considering there was somewhere for me to go, and someone who could get me out so I could go there, I just had to trust.
Maybe that's where you're at. I've been there. You look around and say, it's too big of a risk, from my perspective it doesn't look safe. I'll just stay here in this safe spot. Maybe you tried to start to get out, but gave up when it seemed impossible. But it just so happens that God has places for you to go and if you will trust in what He sees, you will be safely taken out of your "safe" spot and made available for the new things God has for you.
Or maybe you are waiting for someone else to move their car when in reality they don't need to. What you see tells you that things are not in place for you to do that thing God has told you about. When in God's reality, from His perspective, everything is in place for you to do what He's asking. You are just waiting for your seen reality to match up and wasting your time waiting for the right time that is actually already there.
Will we move when God says, trust that He sees what we don't, and take what feels like a risk and begin to move according to His direction? It's one thing to say, "Here God, you drive." and a totally different one to listen when He says, "Ok let's go, everything is ready, just trust my directions."
Faith is believing what is unseen. If you can see it, it doesn't require faith. But faith is not foolish or blind because you're faith is not to reside in a circumstance or outcome, it is to reside in God, the faithful one.
I sure do appreciate how patient God is though. There are times when I sit in the car and keep asking, "Are you sure God? Are you sure I won't hit the other car? Are you sure I'm safe?" And He keeps reassuring me. Then when I begin to follow His directions and drive, I drive hesitantly and slowly, reminding Him, "this looks crazy God, but I'm going to do it." He's incredibly patient, but how much more effective would I be, and how much more quickly could I reach a destination if I'd trust and drive with confidence.
God is great. I just needed to get out of my driveway, and God totally took my experience and said, "Now let's learn a little something about trust. Daughter, do you trust me? We've got some things to do, let's get a move on."
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Preaching it up...
Before we left for Sri Lanka, I was warned, you will be asked to preach when you are in Sri Lanka. I've "preached" to teens and kids, but to an entire church congregation...sounded a bit daunting. I was reminded that the Lord tells us the Holy Spirit will give us words at the hour we need them.
As the first Sunday approached I began to feel a bit nervous. A few days ahead of time our team was given our speaking assignments (this in itself is a bit a of a trip...we are treated so well by the church members and they graciously want almost all of us speaking to various congregations on Sunday). Initially I was not given an assignment, but remembering the stories from my friend who came on the first trip, I mentally prepared myself to get a last minute assignment and that was what happened. I was asked to speak to the youth. I was told this on Saturday afternoon and so preparation happened that night. Earlier in the day the Lord showed me what He wanted to speak to them, but as I began to actually outline I eventually felt the Lord tell me to just stop and let it be simple. He gave me a couple verses to share and I knew He'd have to fill in all the rest when the time came. I didn't know how long I was supposed to speak so I knew it was up to the Holy Spirit to give me words anyway. That Sunday morning came and I was given an hour to speak to a small group of youth. I shared what the Lord put on my heart from 1 Peter 2:9 that they have been chosen and they are royal and holy. I told them to let God define them and the Lord directed me as I spoke for an hour.
I don't know if it was my willingness to let the Lord use me or simply His grace and love for me, but since that morning I haven't felt nervous at all as different speaking opportunities (or maybe better named assignments) have come up. I recently read in Acts where the apostles asked for boldness and the Holy Spirit came on them and filled them with boldness. The Lord is filling me with boldness and I have a new confidence to speak to people. The confidence isn't at all about my ability, it's rooted in recognizing God wants to speak through me and He can use me if I'm submitted to Him. So since that first Sunday I've had a few more opportunities to speak. One was sharing a short word with a group of church leaders, the next was preaching at a house church, and just today I gave a message at a church conference. All of these have been so humbling. I know myself. I know my own ability. I know that what is coming out is from the Holy Spirit. He is using me through my willingness to be used, but it is humbling to see people sitting in the congregations listening to me speak to them. Me. I'm not a "preacher," but the Lord is using me to preach (so maybe now I am a preacher? haha). I don't know how to explain it. I don't feel worthy to stand before a group of church leaders and speak to them. I don't feel worthy to preach to a house church and have everyone in the congregation ask for me to pray for each of them, including the pastor and his ministers. I don't feel worthy to stand before a congregation at the church conference and be one of the session speakers. But it's not about what I feel. It's about what God says....kind of like what I told the youth. I must let God define me and use me based on His definition. He says I'm worthy because He has made me worthy. I'm worth listening to because He fills me with words. I carry His presence and am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I am His servant and proudly carry His name, doing His work. When you see that it has little to do with you or what you have to offer, but it's about what God can do with your willing heart and the things He's already put in you, it's fun. I'm having fun and feeling incredibly blessed as I get to minister to God's people in Sri Lanka. My God is so very very good!
So cool today too, I spoke about freedom. I told the congregation that God's freedom is so much bigger than what we know and He wants us to be free. I told them He's already paid for our freedom and freedom goes far beyond just having forgiveness. He died that we could have abundant life and He has freed us from be bound to sin. We are no longer bound. We are free. As I spoke I realized that my speaking was a testimony to what I was sharing. Not so long ago I would have been so nervous to stand before those people and bring God's word. I'm not sure I would have had the courage to do it. It is because of the freedom the God has brought me into that I could confidently stand before these people and declare to them that God paid for their freedom and wants them to live free. So cool.
As the first Sunday approached I began to feel a bit nervous. A few days ahead of time our team was given our speaking assignments (this in itself is a bit a of a trip...we are treated so well by the church members and they graciously want almost all of us speaking to various congregations on Sunday). Initially I was not given an assignment, but remembering the stories from my friend who came on the first trip, I mentally prepared myself to get a last minute assignment and that was what happened. I was asked to speak to the youth. I was told this on Saturday afternoon and so preparation happened that night. Earlier in the day the Lord showed me what He wanted to speak to them, but as I began to actually outline I eventually felt the Lord tell me to just stop and let it be simple. He gave me a couple verses to share and I knew He'd have to fill in all the rest when the time came. I didn't know how long I was supposed to speak so I knew it was up to the Holy Spirit to give me words anyway. That Sunday morning came and I was given an hour to speak to a small group of youth. I shared what the Lord put on my heart from 1 Peter 2:9 that they have been chosen and they are royal and holy. I told them to let God define them and the Lord directed me as I spoke for an hour.
I don't know if it was my willingness to let the Lord use me or simply His grace and love for me, but since that morning I haven't felt nervous at all as different speaking opportunities (or maybe better named assignments) have come up. I recently read in Acts where the apostles asked for boldness and the Holy Spirit came on them and filled them with boldness. The Lord is filling me with boldness and I have a new confidence to speak to people. The confidence isn't at all about my ability, it's rooted in recognizing God wants to speak through me and He can use me if I'm submitted to Him. So since that first Sunday I've had a few more opportunities to speak. One was sharing a short word with a group of church leaders, the next was preaching at a house church, and just today I gave a message at a church conference. All of these have been so humbling. I know myself. I know my own ability. I know that what is coming out is from the Holy Spirit. He is using me through my willingness to be used, but it is humbling to see people sitting in the congregations listening to me speak to them. Me. I'm not a "preacher," but the Lord is using me to preach (so maybe now I am a preacher? haha). I don't know how to explain it. I don't feel worthy to stand before a group of church leaders and speak to them. I don't feel worthy to preach to a house church and have everyone in the congregation ask for me to pray for each of them, including the pastor and his ministers. I don't feel worthy to stand before a congregation at the church conference and be one of the session speakers. But it's not about what I feel. It's about what God says....kind of like what I told the youth. I must let God define me and use me based on His definition. He says I'm worthy because He has made me worthy. I'm worth listening to because He fills me with words. I carry His presence and am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I am His servant and proudly carry His name, doing His work. When you see that it has little to do with you or what you have to offer, but it's about what God can do with your willing heart and the things He's already put in you, it's fun. I'm having fun and feeling incredibly blessed as I get to minister to God's people in Sri Lanka. My God is so very very good!
So cool today too, I spoke about freedom. I told the congregation that God's freedom is so much bigger than what we know and He wants us to be free. I told them He's already paid for our freedom and freedom goes far beyond just having forgiveness. He died that we could have abundant life and He has freed us from be bound to sin. We are no longer bound. We are free. As I spoke I realized that my speaking was a testimony to what I was sharing. Not so long ago I would have been so nervous to stand before those people and bring God's word. I'm not sure I would have had the courage to do it. It is because of the freedom the God has brought me into that I could confidently stand before these people and declare to them that God paid for their freedom and wants them to live free. So cool.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)