adjusting - the little things

For the most part I feel like God's favor has been on me as I've been adjusting back to life in the States. It's kind of funny though how some things remind me of Japan or make me miss it.

This morning my friend poured me a "mug" of coffee. I'm telling you, everything is smaller in Japan - doorways, mugs, houses, clothes, people, streets, cars - and this morning I felt like I was drinking coffee out of a soup bowl, actually I think this cup is bigger than the miso soup bowls they serve in Japan.

I enjoy the feeling of being in the midst of a conversation that isn't in English. Being back these conversations are usually Spanish rather than Japanese. I like the feeling of having to try to figure out what is being said, understanding words here and there and just observing body language and context. It's this odd challenge that I like. I do miss hearing the sounds of the Japanese language though. Whenever I'm around Asian people that aren't speaking English I get a little excited hoping they'll be speaking Japanese, but I've yet to over hear a Japanese conversation, I guess most of the Asians around me are Korean. Oh well. I do love the diversity of Southern California.

I've had some free time since I've been back here and I've been loving that some of my friends have had some as well, which has meant random hangouts and adventures. This makes me think of and miss Japan. I mostly miss the friends I ventured with there and the new places we'd go, but I also miss things like the trains to get us there, rather than the hours of LA traffic. Everywhere seems so far when you have to drive. In Japan everywhere I went involved either walking, biking, or a train, which somehow made things feel closer. Pretty much all of my friends lived only minutes away so spontaneous hangouts were easy to plan and I was never lacking someone to talk to. These are things that I miss about my life in Japan. But I am fully enjoying getting into the swing of my new life here.

to begin again

I’ve spent the last week and a half settling in to my new home. Yesterday I finally took the last few things out of my bag and put them away in my room. It is strange to think that I have arrived at a home that isn’t in some way temporary. I have no idea what the future looks like and where God will lead, but for right now this is where He has me and my settling in. When I was at Biola I always planned to move back to the Northwest, and then in Japan I planned to move back somewhere after the year, but this time, I’m just here, waiting and resting for whatever God has planned. A couple days ago I went to the DMV to change my car registration and driver’s license. The guy at the registration counter told me I would need to surrender my Oregon plates to the lady at the other window. I laughed a little to myself as I thought about what he’d just said to me. For the fiver years prior to Japan, I never would have considered surrendering to California. But here I am, and I find it quite exciting.

I still don’t have a full time job, but there are very few moments when this actually worries me because God has proved to be so faithful in my life, and in bringing me here that it seems ridiculous to question why I don’t have a full time job yet. I do have a part time tutoring job that I’m thankful for, and I’m trusting that God will provide something so that I can pay my bills. I have this feeling that He’s also providing me with a lot of time that He’ll put to use as well. Who knows.

Speaking of provision, I don’t know that I ever mentioned how I’m living exactly where I’d hoped to live, but where up until a month or so before I moved back, there wasn’t a spot for me. It’s been an adjustment being back here in a totally different place from where I was before when I lived here, but it’s been really good. When I went to visit Oregon before moving down to California, it felt so incredibly normal, it was like Japan had been some sort of dream, but here it feels unfamiliar, like life really is changing and it’s exciting.

I live in a neighborhood that's predominantly Latino and so far I love it. There is a lot of life here. Lots of kids around and neighbors outside playing music. It’s kind of fun in that in some ways it feels like my experience in Japan and in some ways it’s opposite. The lively music is part of the opposite feeling from quiet Japan, but feeling a little like a minority and hearing people not speaking English feels similar to Japan, in a good way. It gives me an odd sort of feeling of comfort. I feel a little out of place, but that feeling feels normal to me.

I think one of my favorite things about being back, aside from just getting to settle in and feel kind of grounded, not like I’ll be up and leaving soon, is getting to reconnect with friends. Of course we’ve all changed a bit over the last year, but some of my fears of how it would be trying to reconnect, are gone. I’ve felt quickly accepted back into the group, even by those new people that are now friends of my friends. I thought I’d miss the adventuring I did all the time in Japan, but there are adventures to be had here as well. It’s been especially nice to have some time while looking for work, to just be. Not have work, and not having internet at my house, has given me the chance to slow down a bit. I’ve enjoyed being able to read and journal without the temptation to waste time on the computer. And I’ve had the chance to meet up with people without having to worry about a work schedule. I think that pretty soon this much time won’t be so enjoyable, but I’m believing that God’s going to provide things to do with my time so that I won’t have to worry to much about getting restless.

Anyway, I just thought this blog was long overdue. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I begin life here, serving God and loving people. Pray for a source of income to pay my expenses, pray that I’ll be able to love those that God has placed around me, and pray that God would direct as I want to be a support for the ministry my friends are a part of in the neighbor (solidarityrising.org).

Some closing events

Nao and I after our dive.

Exploring underwater Japan.

I find myself with only a short time left in Japan. As the school year was coming to an end I thought I'd take the following months, before returning to the states, to do some traveling, see the things I've been too busy to see. Considering I don't know the next time I'll be in Japan I wanted to take advantage of my remaining time here, traveling companions or not, and see the sights. Well, it's been about three weeks since school ended and I've found that my ideas have changed. Maybe if I had come to Japan with big hopes of seeing certain things, or maybe if I had come with the mindset of a tourist, but that was not the case, this is simply home, and just like when you leave any home, the thing you miss the most are people. I haven't filled my days with big trips, or really any trips at all, instead I find myself just wanting to be with my friends, and around what is familiar and what will soon be distant. This is not to say I'm sitting around doing nothing. Last Saturday I spent a lovely day at the river with my friends Isaac, Josh, and Satsuki. My intention was to go swimming no matter how cold, but my body was not able to numb fast enough for me to enjoy the icy river water, so instead I sat with Satsuki and watched Josh and Isaac. I love living so close to such a nice river and mountains. We took a nice walk along the river bed and it was so beautiful.A couple weeks before this I got see my dear friend Drew get married to his now wife Megumi. The ceremony was beautiful, and their lives are and will be a sweet testimony to a loving God.

My finally events of Japan include it's heights and depths. Last Monday Nao and I went to the depths. After a year of thinking to myself that I needed to plan a scuba trip before returning to the states, I finally did. It was particularly fun because my friend Nao came also and tried diving for the first time. We went to Izu Oshima island (very near Tokyo proper) and had a fantastic time diving and experiencing rural Japanese island life. Absolutely everyone we encountered was extremely kind. I had expected the island to be rather touristy, but was pleasantly surprised to find that other than the omiyage (souvenir) shops, the island was not so much touristy as it was country. It's hard to find a place in Japan, any where near where I live, where you can't find a conbini (convenient store), but there weren't any on this island. We were picked up by the dive company, Global Sports Club, from the ferry and driven up a narrow windy road with maybe one traffic light, to the shop where we were fitted with our rental equipment. While the day had started out looking gray, the sun was breaking through for us. I filled out a paper, put on my bathing suit and was quickly put into the van with two dive guides and a 60-something year old man that is a regular. Nao had a briefing while I went on the first dive. The water was incredibly clear and there was all sorts of sea life to be seen. Some sort of small sand shark, some eels, nemo fish, box fish, what looked like a sea spider, and tons and tons of other fish and sea creatures that were pointed out to me as we swam along. After the first dive we headed back for lunch and a rest. The second dive was with Nao. I must say that I was very impressed by her courageous spirit. When I first went diving I was super nervous, and even this time I was a bit nervous at first. Nao was mostly just excited. Anyway we spent some more time seeing underwater Japan. There was even a tree that had been arranged underwater for some sort of Japanese festival that happens in July.

The rest of our Izu Oshima trip was great. Nao was a great traveling companion. We had dinner with some people from the dive company and were given added little extras from the restaurant owner, a free bowl of soup and some Japanese snacks, in addition to our meal which included various local dishes made from fish caught near by and seaweed harvested from where we dove. This was followed by a guided night hike with someone from Global Sports Club, and we got to see glow in the dark mushrooms. We then headed back to our tiny inn, laid out our futons on the tatami floors and went to bed. The second day was meant for local sight seeing, but we quickly discovered that there weren't many sights to see. We headed for a gate and ruins on the tourist map and found a gate and grass. We had tea at a bed and breakfast and we were served tea in the large cups (so we could sit a while and enjoy the lady told us) with a complimentary piece of cake. Everyone was so nice. We took the 45 bus to the lookout sight only to ushered back onto the bus we'd gotten off of when the man about to serve us lunch realized the next bus we planned to take wasn't running anytime soon (thankfully the driver didn't charge us for the return ride because we'd been confused). We then headed for the port and meandered around the beach there. The trip was wonderful.

My next stop is the heights of Japan, Fuji-san. While I often just jump on board with things like this without proper preparation, I am learning. I think my 100km bike ride taught me a lesson. So Ashley and I, and a few others have been doing some training and getting equipment for Fuji. I've discovered that certain activities are made significantly more enjoyable with the proper equipment. Like that bike ride...sure would have been nice to have padded biking shorts. So for Fuji I have made some purchases and am doing some training. Today we took practice hike number four. I now have pretty much all the equipment I plan to buy and we have been trying to get more in shape. I was very pleased to discover that our 900meter mountain hike (about 1/4 of Fuji) was not so bad and went much better than the first time I did it a few weeks ago. My feet were happy in my hiking boots and socks (hadn't expected proper socks to mean so much, but they are amazing), my sweaty legs were cool in my moisture wicking tights, my body was hydrated with my convenient hydration pack, and the hike was made slightly easier with my nifty trekking poles (they also have great engrish on them that makes them that much nifty-er). I know Fuji will be a challenge but I'm feeling good about it and am pleased with how the preparation is going.

After Fuji this Friday I will have a little over a week left here. I still can't believe how quickly time has passed, but I also feel like God has done a lot in me and through me during my time in Japan and am very grateful. I think my biggest fear is just that the people here won't realize how much they've meant to me when I leave them for the states. People ask why I'm leaving, if I like Japan, and it is difficult to explain that I love Japan and I love them, that isn't it at all, I just have to follow what I think God has shown me and that is to return to CA. It's not a matter of which place I like more, I love both places and the people in both places, but right now I need to head back. I guess I will just have to leave them in God's hands and trust they will know they are loved.

As for California, I'm getting very excited to be returning and being able to spend time with my friends there. There are still a lot of unknowns, but I have such a faithful and gracious God that I'm really not very worried. I trust He is doing the necessary work as He calls me back. So now I will soak up the time I have left, and pray that God will continue to prepare my way back.

Spirit Week

Pajama Day...
Crazy hair day...

It is the last week of school at Grace Christian International School. When Ashley suggested a fun backward themed day we all jumped on board and declared a spirit week for our final time with the students. Today students came in walking backward with their uniforms on backward. We set up the chairs for chapel facing the back of the room and have had quite a lot of fun making as many things backward as we can think of. Personally I came to work with my shirt and jacket on backward and my hair pinned the opposite direction as usual. I'm thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to let my inner crazy teacher out...actually my students would probably tell you that it's not an inner crazy so much as an outer crazy...haha. I have fun. The spirit week will continue with a crazy hat/hair day, pajama day, and imitate a teacher day.

As the school year comes to a close I find myself with very mixed feelings. While the year has had its challenges, and I've had to adjust to a totally different teaching setting from what I'm used to, I am so thankful for the way that God has allowed me to be a part of my students' lives. Today I had the students write evaluations for me, and they were kind enough to offer suggestions for future classes, but I was also so encouraged by positive comments they made, showing me that indeed, God has used me to be a blessing in their lives. Not only have they learned skills and ideas related to Language Arts, but their characters have been impacted throughout the year. I will certainly miss my students.

When the school year is over that will put me at only 39 days of Japan left. I can't believe it. I feel like time has flown by, but I also feel like I've been here for ages and there is a certain familiar feel to life that will be missed when I leave. I can't wait to be back with some of my friends in the states, and am looking forward to eating Mexican food, sitting in a coffee shop with a book, and laying out on the beach, but I will miss the friends I have made here, the river near my house, the easily obtained sushi, and the feeling of accomplishment after successful communication to someone who can't speak English.

It's complicated

A friend sent me a link to a talk on preparing the church for suffering (http://vimeo.com/10959675) and suggested I watch it because it was interesting. The man talks about how many people in the Western church are not taught how to deal with suffering in a Biblical way. It was an interesting talk. After I watched it I got to thinking about a conference I attended while I was at Biola. The conference was on racial reconciliation and the seminar was on the theology of suffering and celebration. I remembered listen to the speaker and gaining a new perspective on the topic. So I looked up the guy, Soong-chan Rah, and have started to listen through the sessions again (part 1 http://www.cornerstonefestival.com/blog/?p=390; part 2 http://www.cornerstonefestival.com/blog/?p=397; part 3 http://www.cornerstonefestival.com/blog/?p=402). I have only made it through the first part of the talk, but have yet to continue on as I found I needed some time to really absorb the ideas from the first part (probably should wait to write this blog based on that, but oh well, you get the "I'm still processing" version). Basically Soong-chan Rah is suggesting that to fully understand God and his kingdom we need both the perspective of living in suffering and living in celebration. He gives the example of how a person views heaven, and suggests that an affluent 16 year old female might think of heaven as a place that has the good things of earth in abundance while a 16 year old female living in poverty in a war torn country would likely think of heaven as being a place that is drastically different from earth, hardly resembling what she knows of this world at all. Rah then goes on to say that when you look at the Biblical view of heaven it is some sort of combination of both. Rah also talks about characteristics of God in light of suffering and celebration and even points to the Psalms as the psalmists speak of different qualities of God depending on whether they are lamenting or rejoicing. When we are living in celebration we tend to think of God as more nurturing and having more typically feminine qualities while someone living in suffering may view God in a more typically masculine sense being strong and powerful. Really God is all the above.

Rah’s discussion moved in and out of a theology of suffering and how it all connects to diversity. When we are part of churches that are mostly homogeneous we tend to get a view that leans more in one direction. The U.S. is made up predominately of homogeneous churches. You really ought to just listen to the sessions because my summary doesn’t do the issue justice as it is quite complex, but it just got me thinking. While much of the discussion is about suffering and celebration the discussion is also about racial tension and the need for reconciliation, but how certain races dominate Christianity in western culture, particularly the Christianity that gets public attention. Again, you ought to listen because I have yet to put my thoughts together on everything that is presented and so instead you will get my initial response without a decent summary of ideas that were presented.

Right now I’m reading a book with my sixth graders. It is called, Esperanza Rising, and is a favorite of mine. The book is about a 13 year old girl who had grown up on a vineyard in Mexico. The story takes places around the time of the Mexican Revolution and this results in the death of the girl’s father. Through a series of events, the girl is forced from extreme wealth into poverty and travels with her mother and former servants to work in the US. As the story continues you see the girl struggle to understand what it is to live in poverty and try to grasp the worldview of those around her who grew up in poverty rather than in wealth. You can hardly blame her for her ignorance, but she constantly has to deal with it. Initially she is hardly aware of her ignorance but it is constantly brought to her attention through various encounters. She has no way of dealing with her ignorance without it being brought to her attention, but that process is humiliating and so she tries to avoid it.

Rah talks about how whites tend to not like to talk about power. We shy away from it, really because we have it and don’t want to admit it. So here I am faced with the reality that I was born into privilege. I want to be a part of racial reconciliation and I want to understand, but like the girl from the story, my worldview and upbringing has made me a bit ignorant. I find this difficult because my background has shaped who I am, and while I grew up as a part of a group that offered me privilege based on my race, I also see the need to have this change. Lately what I find most difficult is that being the white person, in my efforts to bring about change, I almost magnify the problem. For example, Rah talks about how justice has become in vogue, but the thing is believers that are minorities have been dealing with issues related to justice for a very long time, but more recently some more prominent white Christians have jumped on the justice wagon and that is what made it in vogue. Now you can get your undies in a bunch and make excuses for how that isn’t true or whatever, but the thing is, I see his point. I also remember a Latino friend speaking up at a dialogue on racial reconciliation and mentioning something about how to have power in issues related to racial reconciliation it is beneficial to have white folks on your side speaking up, as if they must give you credibility which just shows the depth of the issues. The thing is, I’m the white person that wants to be a part of the change, but I want to do so graciously, in such a way the gives power and dignity to my minority brothers and sisters in the church, and even those not in the church.

It is all so very complicated. When I try to piece it together I’m left feeling a bit confused and sometimes rather helpless. Today as I was contemplating my return to the states and my desire to be a part of positive change, especially within the church body, as we ought to be an example, I got to thinking that maybe what it is really about is humility. The best way I can serve my brothers and sisters is by walking in humility, and becoming a part of diverse communities of believers where I can just learn and observe and love. I want to pursue justice for all people, racial minorities, low-income families, immigrants, people with disabilities, and I can't help that in some cases my desire to be involved in seeking justice is a bit painful for those that as a group have been doing so for decades, but I can do so out of an attitude of humility.

Sweet Aroma

Every Friday I take a one hour train ride to another part of Tokyo to teach a few English classes. While my Fridays are long, I enjoy them because I have established a nice routine for myself. I finish my Grace classes, head home for a few minutes to gather myself for my other teaching job, catch the train, drown out the sounds around me with my head phones, nap until my ipod alarm wakes me a few minutes before my stop, and arrive in the other part of town about 45minutes early with my book for a period of relaxing where I have nothing to do but read before needing to teach. The lack of coffee shops in Tokyo leads me to sit in McDonalds, like an old woman with her cheap cup of coffee. Today I was looking forward to my McDonalds time and had a new book in hand to start reading but when I approached my usual spot I was suprised to see that McDonalds had closed. Yup, McDonalds, closed. Now if that doesn't say something about the economy I'm not sure what does. Anyway, this completely threw me. My routine was totally messed up and I had no place to plant myself for my extra 45 minutes. There really isn't much in that area aside from Pachinko, some grocery stores, and convenient stores, but I did remember seeing a Coffee sign in a previous exploration so decided to go looking for it.

I found the Coffee sign and decided to brave the little shop. I couldn't tell from the outside if it was the type of place you really sit down in, or if it was a really fancy place, or if I would have to just grab my cup and go, but considering I had no other options I decided I'd give it a shot. So I opened the door and walked it. It was tiny and contained only one table and a bar. There was a kind Japanese woman sitting inside watching TV, but no one else. She looked to me with a bit of surprise and confusion (us foreigners tend to have that effect on people) and then smiled. I wasn't sure what to do so I just used one of the Japanese words I know, coffee (pronounced ko-hi) and added a questioning tone to it. She kind of laughed and motioned for me to come and sit down. She didn't then rush to get me a cup of coffee, instead she stared a moment longer and started talking to me in Japanese. She asked me where I was from and if I understood Japanese. I told her America and no not really, which didn't stop her from continuing the conversation in Japanese after mentioning the difficulty of learning the language. At this point she had moved behind the counter and got me a glass of ice water while continuing to talk to me in Japanese. I didn't understand most of what she said, but was surprised to find that I wasn't completely lost in the conversation. It helped that she didn't seem to mind my lack of understanding and was kind in adding hand motions to much of what she was saying. She learned that I am here teaching and that I live an hour from the area. She told me of her younger sister who lived in Seattle for around 8 years and found the coffee was different than in Japan (which it is...one cup of Seattle coffee is probably equivalent to 3 cups of Japanese coffee). We small talked, and I loved it. She was incredibly kind and I thoroughly enjoyed our disjointed conversation. I drank my $5 dollar cup of Denny's quality coffee, chatted a bit more, and read for a little while before paying with a big smile despite the poor cup of expensive coffee. When I left she bid me farewell with the warmth of a friend, standing close telling me to take care.

I wish I could speak more Japanese. I think I'd like to make her shop a place I frequent. She could be my coffee shop lady that I see every Friday and we tell each other about our weeks. I may return to her shop next week, but unfortunately our talk will be limited. However, I can report to you that my Japanese is improving. I think I have finally come to a point where it's just barely starting to click in my brain. Too bad it has taken ten months and I will be back in the states before I know it.

Travel's Sound

A few days ago I found myself sitting on a train and was overcome by the serene sound that traveling makes. As I sat in the seat I debated on listening to some music, but couldn't bring myself to interrupt the familiar sound of travel. The train moved down the tracks creating a quiet hum. Hushed whispers were shared between fellow passengers. Knowing we'd be on the train for a while, no one felt a need to hurry as they retrieved something from a bag, or engaged in a quiet conversation with a friend. The sounds felt so familiar, reminding me of the long coach rides I spent in Europe and the international flights I've been on.

Last week my friend Drew told Josh and I that he had some extra train tickets and wanted to make a weekend trip to visit some friends in Sendai. The train tickets are cheap tickets that allow you to take as many local trains as you want in one day. I'm not one to pass up any sort of adventure and agreed to go along. On Friday we went straight from work to the train station to catch the 2:38 train. This would allow us about 30 min for dinner and just a little leeway in case a transfer was missed. It was supposed to have us arriving in Sendai at 11:30pm.

The trip started out smoothly. We made is past Tokyo (about 1 or 1.5 hours away) and then we were on a train that traveled through a valley and at one station the train stopped. This is common. Trains stop to pick up passengers and so we just stay on until our stop, but this time when the train stopped the conductor walked through the cars and shooed everyone off. Looking around at fellow passengers it was clear that no one really knew what was going on. We got off the train and stood on the platform waiting to be given the ok to get back on the train. We never got an ok and the train eventually left, empty. We finally started hearing announcements about train delays due to high winds. At this point we weren't too worried because we knew we had a little time to spare and still make the trains. However the delay was excessive and by the time we finally got on the train and made it to our next destination we realized that we were in danger of getting stuck at a station past the time the last train left for Sendai. So at this point we went to talk with the guy at the counter who informed us that indeed we wouldn't make it on the local trains. So we spent some extra money to get tickets for a special express. This in itself was an interesting experience as we kept getting different information and were finally handed tickets that we weren't totally clear on. We were told that we might still get to a station past the last train, but that we could take a taxi that'd be paid for by the JR Line...hmm. We decided to give it a shot.

I always see the nicer express trains and wasn't too upset to be riding one. We also had a few interesting encounters with some drunken Japanese people which added to the excitement of the trip. There was one drunk older woman who was trying to talk to Drew, not making a lot of sense, and offering him candy from a 17th century emperor. That was particularly funny because not only were we amused by the situation, but the usually "to themselves" fellow Japanese passengers were doing all they could to not burst out in laughter as this lady talked to Drew. When she left our train car a group next to us was all laughing. Turned out this was to our advantage because they heard us talking with the conductor about our next transfer and final destination and we got off that train one of the guys who was going to be taking the next train with us, stuck with us to help us out. Turned out the next train was also delayed, but once we were on it, that guy sat with us and spoke to the conductor to make sure that when we got to our next station, he understood we needed to then get to Sendai and may need a taxi. He was a really nice guy.

So we made it to the last train station, but were still about 2 hours from Sendai and there were no longer trains running. We talked with two workers and things got sorted out so that we were able to take a taxi for free. We rode with one other man going to Sendai. No leg of this journey was without it's excitement. As we neared Sendai our cab driver started making comments to the other passenger about how he really didn't know the Sendai area very well. Eventually he saw a police box as he passed it and then promptly put the car in reverse, drove backwards and into the parking lot. He then apologized, hopped out and went to ask for directions. Once he had the directions he got us to the Sendai station without any other issues other than nearly turning into the wrong side of the median.

We made it to Sendai at 1am and then Drew's friend picked us up from there. It was quite the trip. Needless to say, when we came home we chose to take a route that wouldn't pass through the valley where there was the possibility of wind delays.

The weekend trip turned out to be quite a lot of fun. We spent Saturday exploring the area. There are some islands near Sendai, and we took a ferry tour around them. Then we crossed a long foot bridge to one of the islands and hiked around appreciating the scenery. Saturday evening we went into downtown Sendai and looked around a bit. It actually reminded me a lot of Portland. The city and area had a very friendly feel to it. Much less chaotic than Tokyo.

Easter Sunday we spent with Drew's friends at a very small Japanese church. I really enjoyed it despite not being able to understand most of the message. The small group was very friendly. We had the most difficult Easter egg hunt I've ever participated in. Everyone looked for the 24 hidden eggs and it must have taken a good 10 min to find the first three and the following 21 were no easier. Considering the small area they were hidden in we never did find all 24 eggs. The egg hunt was followed by a nice lunch with the church and at one point everyone went around and shared something about how God had blessed them, or something they needed prayer for. This is something I've noticed about Japanese Christians, they don't share away from asking people to share about what God's doing. Although Japanese people can often be a bit reserved, they frequently call church members out to share something about what God's doing. I like this.

Our trip home was uneventful. Today, Monday, I was so tired, but the weekend away was definitely worth it.

Sendai Station...

Me with my Special Express train ticket :)