I wrote a while back that I'd take you on a journey with me to discover what it is to be a woman of God. I didn't exactly take you on my journey. This is partly because the time to write just hasn't been there, but partly because the way God does things are different then I tend to expect.
I'd sensed from the Lord that this time around I wasn't supposed to avoid figuring out what is really menas to be a woman. I assumed that meant He'd involve me a lot in the process of revealing it to me. So I obediently have been asking God to give me revelation, been looking in the Scriptures, been seeking out Godly women, and God's been showing me things. All of a sudden I'd be reading my Bible and God would show me things about women. I read about Samson and Delilah and was struck by the influence a woman can have and realized that while Delilah used it in a corrupt way, if that same influence was used to build up a man and spur him on toward what God has for him, it'd be super powerful. I read 2 John and realized it was written to an elect woman of the church. All sorts of stuff is being revealed to me, but I'd been trekking along on the journey, trusting God is transforming me, and then I have a conversation and become aware that I thoroughly consider myself a woman.
I sat with my friend talking about how we tend to consider certain milestones entrance into adulthood and she was considering this in her own life. As we talked I started to realized that I was viewing our conversation through the lenses of someone who considers herself no longer a girl but a woman. I smiled to myself at the realization because God is so good, I hadn't even realized He'd done it.
It wasn't a certain verse I read. It wasn't revelation about what it means to be a woman and realizing I fit into it. My view of myself as a woman was solidified when I recognized what God is calling me to. I have an assignment that can't be completed by a girl. I have a responsibility that only a woman can carry. The things God is calling me to forces me to walk as a women, and the cool thing about it, is that if the assignment is given by God that means that He's saying, little girl, the time has come, walk as the woman I say you are. When I agreed to walk in the assignment, without realizing it, I was also setting aside the girl in me and fully embracing the woman God has risen up in me. I wish I had better words to explain the gravity of this and how awesome it is.
I watched the movie 300 not that long ago. Not normally a movie I'd watch, but my friend was telling me the spiritual implications they saw in it and I wanted to see for myself. Connecting the concept of Spartans to the army of God is a little bit nuts and really pretty eye opening. The elements of unity and focus are impactful. Something I've considered a lot after watching though, was the woman that the queen was. Her strength. Her priorities. Her prominence. Her job could not be done by a girl, she has to walk as a woman, there's no room or time to be a girl. Too much was at stake and her role was too important. That's kind of how I feel. It's a privilege really. We've been given assignments by the Lord. He's entrusted us and He declares we are able and makes us sufficient for the task.
The life God has called me to, and the season He has me in, is one where there is no room for playing around (I am not saying it's not fun or exciting. God has set me free and it's fantastic, not to mention God's way is exciting, exhilarating, and full of joy). Here there is no room for trying out my own stuff. There is no room for compromise. If I want to see the fullness of God, if I want to fulfill the assignment, if I want to live the abundant life, it's all about doing exactly what God says and literally letting Him direct every step. God is so incredibly faithful!
